Job at the FBI

The FBI had an opening for an assassin.

After all the background checks, interviews and testing were done there were 3 finalists: two men and a woman.

For the final test, the FBI agents took one of the men to a large metal door and handed him a gun.

'We must know that you will follow your orders no matter what the circumstances. Inside the room you will find your wife sitting in a chair...Kill her!'

The man said, 'You can't be serious. I could never shoot my wife.'

'Then you're not the right man for this job,' the agent replied. 'Take your wife and go home.'

The second man was given the same instructions. He took the gun and went into the room. All was quiet for about 5 minutes.

Then the man came out with tears in his eyes, 'I tried,' he told them, 'but i can't kill my wife.'

The agent said, 'You don't have what it takes. Take your wife and go home.'

Finally, it was the woman's turn. She was given the same instructions, to kill her husband. She took the gun and went into the room. Shots were hears, one after another. The agents standing outside heard screaming, crashing and banging on the walls. After a few minutes, all was quiet again. The door slowly opened and there stood the woman, wiping sweat from her brow.

'This gun was loaded with blanks,' she explained. 'I had to beat him to death with the chair.'

MORAL:
Women are crazy. Don't mess with them.

english

i forgot to tell everyone that i finally changed my major - officially - to english.

for the past year i've just been telling people that i was an english major whenever it suited me since it meant that i could win an argument. okay, it never actually meant that, i just tried to win by saying, 'hey! i'm an english major, i should know what's right.'

it never really worked since i always got a response like 'are you really, matti? really?'

to which i would have to respond that no, i wasn't.

it probably didn't help that i called myself a psychology major when that suited me. i seldom, if ever, won arguments this way but i felt like i would.

anyway. i am now, officially, an english major. as such i can - officially - claim to know things because i am. unfortunately, i can no longer say that i know things because i am a psych major.

'i used to be a psych major' just doesn't carry the same weight.

*sigh*

google

my family is google.

seriously, if there is anything you want to know, someone in my family knows it.

according to my brother, 'our dad is like google and we're like mini versions. we're google mobile.'

but i'd like to extend that to the rest of my family.

i'm not really that smart, but i at least know where to go to get the information. i'm like the search engine, i know where to go to get whatever you need.

surprise

i have lived in my apartment for about 4 months now. every time i go into my closet i think "why didn't they put a light in here?"

today while i was putting on my shoes i was standing in my closet when i started to fall (i'm kind of a klutz sometimes) so i reached out and grabbed the wall. and there i found the switch that has always been there. seriously, been there the whole time. i don't know how i missed it but there is totally a light in there.

unless the apartment managers installed it just to mess with me. you have to admit, it could happen.

okay, probably not.

happy birthday to me

yay! amber and i are now 43 for another month.

woot.